Finally Updating Blog: Updates On What The Hell Happen To Nizam After So Long..


First thing first, an update of all that had happened since he last blogged.

1) It was towards my final year exams.. So most of the time i did was to mug and mug and mug..

2) Then during the course of my studying and examinations, I had to get myself into trouble (injured myself) haha.. Not that i want to.. But yeah shit happens.. And due to my injury i had to defer my examinations for over 2wks.. Kinda sucks.. My hand was in pain and i cant write.. So this was the only option.. Not to mention becoz of my injury, i had to postpone my Graduation trip to Australia.. Damn it that guy who coz me all the snowballing pain.. One thing after another.. I had to pay a considerable amount for my injury (compensated) and a great amount for changing my flight dates for my trip! Damn idiotic drunkard ah beng..

3) And so then the examinations ended.. I flew off 2 days since my exams ended to meet the rest in OZ.. Finally a long deserved break (no pun intended) hah.. By that time my arm almost healed.. Another reason for not being able to update my blog.. (Nizam's and his excuses =p)

4) The trip was fantastic.. Backpacking all over Australia for a month.. (Thus another month without blogging) - another excuse- We went to cities: Perth, Melbourne, Sydney, Gold Coast, Adelaide. We visited places in all of these states: Victoria, WA, Queensland, NSW and South Australia.. Almost the whole of OZ leaving Tasmania and the Northern Territory out due to time constraint.. Need at least 2months to complete your stay in Australia!!
* Updates on the trip are available on Facebook!! Those who have my facebook cano browse thru the albums..
* What i love most about the trip? SURFING!! GOLD COAST!! SYDNEY!! I want go GC again!
* What I dont like? The chaos (strikes, protests, swine flu, etc) in Melbourne at the point of time when i arrived.. First impression counts.. Without all those Melbourne could be excellent!

5) While in Sydney.. The examination results came in.. Kinda sucks to be checking your result while enjoying yourself.. But yeah i graduated.. But no merit.. Kinda suck.. But kinda expected with all the setbacks i had.. Cant ask for more..

6) Its been almost 3 weeks since i got back from OZ.. At the point of time which i have forgotten that i almost had a blog until complains came in saying that it is time for me to update! Some even threat of removing me from their links.. Hahaha! Finally settling back in SG.. There no place like Singapore and after travelling for a considerable amount of time.. U miss home..

This is HOME.. Truly.. Where i know i must be.. This is where i wont be alone! Haha! National Day coming up!

7) Its time to do some serious jobsearching.. I was wondering should i got back to SCDF? (i miss firefighting, i miss the action) Heck, i even wanted to visit firestations in Aussie which i only did see from the outside and took photos of live fire fighting action.

Should i settle for what i always wanted to do? Flying.. But i have no confidence knowing friends getting rejected.. But who knows mine would be different right?

I also always see myself following the footsteps of my father.. If not aimed at doing miles better than him in his career! - Singapore Armed Forces, The Decisive Force or maybe the Navy or RSAF.. My younger sister got herself in and will commence training on 13th July.. An OCT in GUARDS SOMEMORE!! Shucks.. Im quite jealous of her..

Maybe i should just stick to what i have learned in Uni? -Bank, Finance? hmm..

8) On top of it all.. Im sure as hell am gonna miss schooling days.. Gonna miss SIM campus life, my classmates.. The people in canoeing, council and SLS..

An Inspirational Video

I would like to share with everyone a video a certain someone asked me to watch to put me right back on track! Its quite inspiring i guess and the music.. Kinda have that strong determine sound to it.. Heh.. Well enjoy..





Thank you for the reminder to tell me to LOL -----> LEAD OUT LOUD! =D

Missing My C....... - A Realisation

I have been missing out on my trainings.. And some times when i train, i just lose my motivation.. Slowly but surely you see the numbers declining.. And your motivation to bring It to greater heights just runs dry.. Never did i mention this but its getting to me now..

Im just afraid of what might become of it in the future.... Really hope for a bright one.. But seeing the commitment levels right now... I can only say one thing: Disappointment.. I do see ppl winning in competitions and everything.. Cants say that im not proud.. Im more than just proud of everyone who puts in that effort. But really, its not all about winning.. Its more of the love for the sport.

We are all big in the name of fun, friends and family.. A bond we have that I have fallen in love with.. Whenever there is a social gathering or some sort.. Somehow or rather ppl would be free... But when there are trainings..... sighz... I always have to carry the burden of the disappointments in the turn ups.. Its always the same bunch of us.

But still I have to do my part.. I love doing what i have to do! I love my sport!

I still have to conduct.. "The show must go on! Not just for me but for those who are present as well and set to make a difference together." I always tell that to myself. Set out what i wanted to do despite the lost in motivation to do so.. I have to motivate everyone, to perform even though i just feel like giving up..

I still have to smile and make everyone who are present smile and enjoy the training.. At the end of the day we do enjoyed it no matter how small the numbers might be.. I felt relieved that i have done my job onto myself and to those who are around expecting me of my role.

I always asked myself why is this happening lately.. What is going on?

Is the training too tough on everyone these days? Cannot wake up in the morning? Am i too slack on the discipline or there is no discipline to begin with? If i increase the discipline level will everyone listen? Will it makes things worst off?

Other instituitions seems to be doing it.. Should i do the same? I see the trainings other instituitions are conducting.. While i was doing my own occasional trainings, some times I crossed path with groups of ppl doing their routine.. a couple of which i saw Everyone was shouting.. Everyone was counting.. One particular group i remembered asking for more of what is given to them.. I just watched in envy.....

Can It ever be like that some times, i wonder.. But using force is a negativity.. You cant force ppl to come against their own will.. How to do it without being seem negative about it? Sighz..

Maybe everyone is busy with other commitments? Exams are understood but there are those who have exams and do turn up.. Hmmm.. Maybe its the mentality that weekends are burnt and due to commitments in weekdays, thus wanting the weekends free..

Maybe we set off on the wrong foot on what our objectives were and its time to re write the past? Maybe everyone have different expectations and objectives.. How to make them come together as one then?

I have tried so many things.. I have come this far.. But some things seems to change while others dont..

Maybe what we need is a coach - an outsider, a father figure to instill back the motivation we need and make everyone move..

And the scariest of the thoughts that i always consider to be most likely..Maybe its just me? Have I done something wrong? Where did i go wrong? A high possibility..

Yesterday, i almost just felt like going home after a few rounds. I was at my limit. I had almost wanted to give up and instead opted out for long distance to think it through.. I didnt execute my role at all yesterday thinking about whats going on.. And truth be told the past few weeks, i havent been really executing my role.. No one realised what was going thru my mind. Maybe there was one who did notice.. Hah.. Guilt overwhelms me when he kept encouraging me on yesterday and so we encouraged each other along the way.. If not i would have gone home.. hah..

I asked myself why am i trying so hard? What do i really get out of it in the end? Have i failed everyone? Is everything crumbling? And those who were around me indirectly reminded me of what i set out to do when It was first formed. After some time, now then i finally realised that i once had a purpose for designing the back of the singlet that gives us our identity.. My dreams.. My objectives.. My motto for myself and onto others i hoped to pass on..

"I will never stop loving my sport that i have for since i was in primary school.. And will keep the enjoyment and the passion running, in others alike. It is not to be troubled with those who are not present but to be concerned more of those who are. Doing things not just for me but for everyone who have shown their interest in the sport as well. No matter how taxing things will be, the circumstances we are facing or difficult a situation might get, as a team no matter our numbers, together, we will
Against The Tide of Challenge, Paddle Forth!"

And saying thanks to those who reminded me of this is not enough. And now im back together to lead once again..

That WAS what i set out to do.. That IS what im going to do now!

Is He Really is Just Not That Into You? - The Exception, Not The Rule.

The starting of the movie reminded me of a real life story! I would want to share...

Remember how at the start the little girl was told by her mum that if a guy is mean to you means he likes you? Haha..

It happened to someone real close to me, whom i see everyday, whose name starts with N and ends with N as well.. Not to mentioned we share the same parents.. LOL

She met this unlikely guy when they were in primary school! And the guy always teased the girl and picked on her or at times bully her. It was hilariously cute at how the guy reacted to liking her.

There was this one particular incident i remember she telling me that someone poured drink over someone just for fun.. I think its the guy who did it.. Hahaha.. Just for fun!! What a weird way to tell her you like her... Hahaha!

Then there was even this diary or the so called biodata profiler thingy.. Those things we used to write about our names, DOB, likes, dislikes etc.... And then we pass around to all our classmates and friends for them to write so that everyone can remain in contact with each other??

Where we wrote poems, riddles, our secret crush and personalise our biodata page?? We used different coloured pens and markers, showing of our creativity and artistic talent (if there was any) Haha.

Remember those younger days of ours?? It was like THE Facebook or Frienster before the Internet age really comes into play!! Damn those were the days!!!

*Reminiscing*

So ya anyway this guy, he still keeps the book with him!! (I dont know where mine went to.. =p)
And in the book was prove of his monkey love to the girl and poems after poems written by his friend teasing him with the girl..

While i was reading it, i laughed my ass off! Some of the poems seems to be crude for a young teenager.. In a way it was cute and romantic to keep something for so long...

And eventually as if by fate (keept long story short), they met up each other.. And thats how i know of this book of his.. Haha.. The prove of the love.. And now they are together after a long time of "courtship".. Haha...

One of those Rules broken.. This turns out to be the Exception..

Tune of the Month



MySpace Movie Posters



I was reminded by Ed of how lovely this music is.. Soundtrack from the Notebook - Our Love Can Do Miracles.

Its been awhile since i last listened to it. And the movie Notebook was one of the most interesting, touching romance movie i ever watched. Something everyone dreamt of love to be.. To grow old with someone right up till you are on your deathbed.. Something that everyone desires of having.. Something so sweet that it is unimaginable in reality.. Or is it?

I believe.. I believe that if one tries hard in a relationship and the love for each other is limitless, any hurdles can be overcome, any differences will be accepted. Love is not just bout loving someone or the companionship. Its about going through the hardships, bickering, accepting each other for who they are. If you Love that person, then your love for each other can do miracles! Now where is that other half miracle of mine? Are you here? Hahaha..

Thanks to Ed, i began to think about the person i was in the past.. The person that i had once forgotten. Now that i am reminded, kinda miss that old self of mine.. Hahaha!

Anyways, watched another romance flick yesterday with "Da Clique". This was just before i was reminded of the Notebook soundtrack.

"He's Just Not That Into You" was a fantastic movie to watch for those who are married, in love, just got out of love, looking for love, those who enjoys their bachelorhood or even if u r gays and lesbians. It doesnt matter as long as it revolves around Love.. hah..

It covers almost the whole expect about love in no matter wat status you are!! Be it if you are the RULE or the EXCEPTION! (hahaha! something that kept spining around the movie. i wont tell. so go watch!) It also becoz of this movie that inspired me to write wat i wrote before this.

A reminder to myself - to still believe and never give up!

And to Clarence to, there will always be other opportunities, there will be someone to like you bro! You just havent find the right one!

Investment test over.. Surprisingly not difficult, i tot i initially mite flung it. 3 more tests and 1 project to go~ Sian..

Labels: Tune

A Likely Story..

I have this story i find over the internet interesting to tell.. And it keeps me thinking.. A LOT... Not that i have nothing to think about in the first place - like where that $400 bucks went to!! - AArgGhhhh! So anyway here it is... Heh..

Have you ever had that encounter where you set your eyes one someone and in you mind you go "WOW! Shes beautiful/cute/hot",and then that person also had their eyes on you for a brief moment?

Then there you started to think if there was electricity going between the two of you for that brief moment. And you were hopeful that there was.. At the same time your mind tells you that its all your wishful thinking.. Wishful or not, You still could not let that person out of your mind for that moment..

And just when you think you were out of that fantasy and got back to your own task of looking for a particular "Subject" that was entailed in your routine for the day, that "Subject" you happened to be looking for appears to be the same person that you laid your eyes on earlier!! Coincidence?? Yeah of course it is....

From there you started to get acquainted to each other and hmmmm you found out that both of you share a couple of similar interests.. Interesting rite? Yeap Interesting indeed for acquaintances.. For someone whom you just met.. And then the interest begins to grow....

Few days passed, and you begin to like that person more and more.. But you just wouldnt tell that person that you are interested to get acquainted more than just acquaintances but as friends.. Everytime you see each other.. You just say hi and bye... You never had the chance..

And when you had it, your heart got stuck in your mouth.. And you couldn't handle the situation.. And you made yourself look dumb.. Disappointing..

Months passed, and you still cant forget.. Are you in love or its just another crush? You compared yourself to that person, and everytime the more you compare yourself, you find that you might not be in the person's league no matter what similar interests you share.. You have never felt so stupid and clumsy in your life.. But whenever that person is around.. Everything seems to turn out that way..

You then decided to gave up on that person. And take it as a crush.. You moved on and you found someone new.. And so you have chosen to forget. And when things turn out bad.. You turn to seek that crush of yours again.. And the feelings rekindled..

More time has passed but you just never made the move.. And you are lost... Acceptance and rejection kept playing in your mind like an endless, soundless movie.. You are just afraid to make any move...

Have you ever felt that way? In this situation what would you have done? Cmon now.. I wan this entry to be interactive pls tell me what you think should have been done or not done... LOL.. Constructive comments are really appreciated!! I know a lot of you people are just reading my entries.. So pls this time say SOMETHING! =D i got tracker ok!! Hahaha..

PS. Dont ask me if its about me la... ZZZZzzzz.... If it was i would have already said its my story.... =D

Schools Out For The Past 3 Days!! =S

And IM JUST GLAD I DO NOT HAVE TO DO SM PROJECT!!! WAHAHAHA!! =p

I did say that this semester my timetable is weird.. And school was out for the past 3 days after my two weeks break since CNY. I have alot of breaks in between my schedule... Its kinda nice but then again, i feel that its slowly killing the drive to study with so many breaks in between.. Sianz..

And project dateline is due in a months time and we havent even started with the lecturer officially discussing thru them.. Hmm... Oh well, we are gonna start ahead without the lecturer officially telling us what to do.. We kinda know what to do from the web portal.. The faster finish the more i can concentrate on MR500 race! Hah..

Been busy doing up videos and preparing stuff for Kayaking Star One Course.. Those interested can email to sim.canoeing@gmail.com.. Priorities goes to SIM students! Heh.. And we are open for recruitment!! I made the video fyi!!! hahahaha! Comments? =p But then again credits also goes to the CANOEING TEAM especially all those ppl with the cameras!! heh.. Here it is!



Ohh i also did say i wanted ppl to ask me out for a date on Vdae and email me their profile and such.. And guess what, to my dismay, no one did.. I was at least hoping for a few... oh well..... HAHAHA!

Now im gonna start something new when i blog. I will start to talk about any weird/peculiar/out of the world things i see around me, if i ever see one.. Then blog about it. Sounds good to me.. LOL..

Just yesterday, after we had our meal at Subway Clementi, i was rushing to the toilet.. And a weirdo kept staring at me in the toilet that i decided to go in the cubicle and pee..

It reminded me of time i was at work where an old man who was carassing my hands while i was wearing for him and his family - YES HE HAS TWO KIDS AND A WIFE!! - identification tags on their wrist.. After carassing me, he pat my back and gave me a back rub to say thanks! Like WTF... Damn touchy old man!! Then his wife gave me that annoyed look when i didnt do anything wrong.. I wonder what is goin on.. Why his wife didnt do anything.. Hmmm.. This kinda ppl.. I dono what to say.. Hah..


One last thing.. Facebook damn addictive can!! HAHAHA!!

Labels: peculiar